Sigh, I broke down in school just now. And in a bus on the way home, like your typical tv serial scene. Probably overwhelmed. Disappointed with myself. 

I've seen other classmates breaking down too. And one thing about my course is, all our tutors are nurses. They are sharp to spot any anomalous behaviour and will deal with it within a short period. They are also very motherly which make us feel very 'protected' in school haha. 

Sometimes I wish I can be like other 'normal' schoolmates, where the only commitment they have is just going to school and doing well for exams. How free! How boring.

It's often heard, "there is only so much a person can do." Maybe it's true, maybe it's just an excuse not to stretch ourselves.

My tutor once said "It's either you be a good nurse, or you don't be a nurse at all." It struck me. It's true, once we set our heart to do something, it's either we do it well or we don't do it at all. At times, I wonder if I'm up to it.

Many times I ask myself, "What am I really good in?" Sometimes, I struggle to find an answer.

Am I pushing myself too hard? It just gets frustrating when you KNOW you have the potential to do something better but you're not reaching it.

..... .... ... .. .

On a lighter note, have you ever watched how an AMPUTATION is done??????

I was studying with a friend in the library last night and he showed me a video on youtube, featuring an above-knee amputation............................ And insisted I should watch it since I hope to work in the operating theatre next time....... Hahaha..

It was... Erm... Interesting? I can't think of an appropriate word to describe. It was pretty much like a butchering scene, but everything was done neatly and swiftly.

Hmmm... Come to think of it, there's nothing quite disgusting or cruel/inhumane about it. They are simply procedures that HAVE to be carried out for the better of the patient. And someone, somehow, has to do it.

I hope the public has more knowledge about what goes on in a hospital before making judgment...

P.S: Erm... Maybe this is not a 'lighter note'... Lol...